learning style

Math has always gotten a bad rap for being the subject kids struggle with the most. It’s abstract, challenging, and cumulative. (This means that each new skill builds on the last, so failure to master one unit can make future units even harder.)

It’s also challenging to teach! If a teacher moves too slowly, some students will get bored and check out. If a teacher moves too quickly, other students can get overwhelmed and give up. In a traditional classroom, teachers can at least monitor the room for signs of confusion or overwhelm. But a virtual classroom makes it significantly harder for teachers to identify and assist students who need more help.

This means it now falls on parents to monitor their child’s progress and recognize when they need help. Of course, many kids balk at their parents’ attempts to step in, so what’s a parent to do? In this blog, we’re here to help with exactly that. Read on to learn practical tips for helping your child succeed with virtual math without ruining your relationship along the way.

Monitor your child’s progress to know where they stand.

Your child’s teacher can’t monitor your child’s participation in your class, but you can. Quietly peek your head in during virtual math class. Don’t say anything, but observe what is going on. Is your child taking notes? Do they seem checked out when the teacher is giving instruction? Are they quick to get a snack or go to the bathroom in the middle of class? These are signs that the material is difficult for them. 

If you see those signs of overwhelm, set up a time to talk to your child about what’s happening in a non-judgmental way. Don’t do it at a time when you’re both frustrated. Instead, set up an appointment. You might say, “Hey Susan, can we talk about your math later tonight? How does 7:30 work for you?” That sets a collaborative atmosphere instead of an adversarial one.

Know what to say (and what not to say).

Before you sit down and talk with your child, have a plan for what you’ll say—because, unfortunately, many of the things we instinctively say only make things worse! For example, if you say, “Here, let me show you how to do it,” your child will likely respond, “Mom, that’s not how you do it! That’s not what my teacher said to do!” (And they’re probably right. The way you and I learned math is drastically different from today’s methods.) 

Or you might be tempted to say, “Listen, Susan, I already went to fifth grade. This is your homework, not mine. You need to do it on your own.” You may hope this encourages independence, but if your child genuinely needs help, this response can discourage them from coming to you when they’re struggling.

Instead, start by simply sharing what you’ve noticed. You might say, “I’ve noticed fractions are really hard.” And—this part’s important—stop there. Let your child respond. Simply stating your observations allows for a more collaborative conversation and opens the door for your child to share their frustrations about where they might need some help.

When you’ve identified an area of need, try asking your child openly, “Susan, do you have examples of this type of problem? Do you have notes, or is this explained online somewhere or in your book?” This is a better approach because it allows kids to be part of solving the problem, instead of you telling them how to do it or not helping at all. It enables you to achieve that happy medium where you can have them look back for an example and try to solve it on their own with just a little bit of coaching from you as needed.

As you speak with your child, choose empowerment over commiseration. Statements like, “Don’t worry, I was bad at math, too,” or “You’re just as smart as your sister, and she figured it outl!” don’t help kids overcome their frustrations. Instead, focus on your child’s efforts (rather than their outcomes or intelligence) and offer specific praise. Affirmations like, “Oh, I like the way you wrote down the steps for that math problem,” or “I love how you worked through that even though it was tough!” can empower kids to keep at it, even when things get challenging.

See what support materials the teacher can provide.

In case you missed it, we recently shared a post about how to ask a teacher for help when you’re virtual. For math in particular, I recommend asking for a class recording, class notes, or study guide. 

Class recordings are beneficial for kids of all ages because they can replay the instructional piece of the lesson, pause to write down the steps, and generally slow down to make sure they understand everything. Class notes can help students understand the steps to solving problems and serve as a reference when they’re feeling stuck during practice. And study guides often provide practice problems for students to work through.

If your child does get a study guide, we don’t just want them to work through it once and say they’ve studied, which is what most kids automatically do. Instead, we recommend making three blank copies of it. First, your child will attempt to complete the first copy just from memory. But when they’re stumped, they can look back at their notes to refresh themselves on the steps and keep going. The next day, they take the second copy and do it again. On the third day, they do the same thing with the third copy. By doing the same problems this way three days in a row, kids will refer to their notes less each time, gain confidence, and retain the steps/processes much better.

Even if your child doesn’t get a study guide from the teacher, they can use practice problems from class notes, their book, and online resources to build their own. Learning to make their own study guides will not only help with math class this year, but all their subjects throughout high school and college. Win, win!

Know the signs that reveal when a child needs outside help.

Most children wrestle with math concepts at some point or another, so how do you know when your child is struggling enough to need outside help? I tell parents to look for three signs:

1. The problem is chronic. If the difficulty has gone on longer for a week or two, it may be time for outside help. Remember, math is cumulative, so failure to get help with a critical skill now can make math that much harder in future grades.
2. Your child is frustrated and avoiding their math homework. Avoidance is a critical problem because it compounds a child’s struggles thanks to the “forgetting curve.” The longer kids go between learning a skill and applying it, the more they’ll forget along the way. Regular (yes, daily!) practice helps kids avoid the forgetting curve and retain information. A tutor can help your child tackle the work promptly and frequently to improve their understanding and mastery of a skill. Plus, when frustration makes it difficult for your child to discuss the subject calmly, a tutor can cut through that tension and provide some needed support.  
3. Their test grades are lower. Your child’s overall grade in a subject can be deceiving. They might be earning a B in math, and you’ll think, “Oh, a B. That’s great. You’re doing really well.” But take a closer look. They might be getting Cs on all their tests, but those are balanced out by As on the homework, class participation, and some extra credit. This is a red flag. If your child get Cs on tests, especially cumulative unit tests, they don’t understand the concept. With modern grade inflation, a C of today would likely have been an F when you and I were in school. This doesn’t mean you need to panic or shame your child for a C, but it does mean that recurring Cs on tests are a sign that it’s time for some extra help.

If you see any of the above signs, our tutors are here to help. With virtual math tutoring, your child can get the individualized attention they need, master critical skills, and build confidence in this foundational subject. And you can relax, knowing your child is getting the help they need without putting a strain on your relationship!

To learn more about your options, schedule a call with an educational specialist today. It’s free, easy, and the best way to identify the right next steps for your family. Just click here to contact us or schedule a call today. We’re here for you!

A few days ago, I heard someone say, “When it comes to COVID-19, we’re all in the same storm, but we’re not all in the same boat.” It’s true, isn’t it? The pandemic is a shared event, but your experiences with it are unique to you. How it affects health, work, relationships, and so on will vary from family to family. 

The same is true of distance learning. Yes, we’re all adjusting to online schooling, but the experience varies wildly from home to home, school to school, and subject to subject. In this blog, we’ll talk about the variables that affect students’ virtual learning experiences—and how to know when your child needs help weathering this storm.

The Virtual Learning Variables

Do you feel like virtual learning has you at the end of your rope… only to look around and see a fellow parent who seems mostly unfazed by it all? Or even likes virtual learning? The problem isn’t that you’re a lesser parent or your child is a worse student. The virtual learning approach varies wildly right now, and that parent you spoke with could be having a completely different experience.

Variables that affect your child’s virtual learning experience can include…

• Their confidence level with each subject
• Their executive functioning skills (like organization and time management)
• The online platforms used
• The school’s virtual learning schedule and expectations
• The teacher’s ability to provide individualized support
• Class sizes
• The teacher’s confidence with technology
• The demands of parent work responsibilities and schedules
• The number of siblings sharing devices and internet

The list goes on and on. If you feel like your child is drowning in the virtual learning “storm,” resist the urge to look around and compare yourself to other families. Instead, keep an eye on your child’s particular struggles, so you’ll know when it’s time to call for help.

How to Know When It’s Time for Help

There are two primary areas where virtual learners need help: executive function skills and subject tutoring.

Executive function skills like time management and organization are critical for students to be able to work independently and manage virtual learning requirements. When children don’t have the executive function skills they need, parents become the “school police.” 

If your child struggles to stay focused, loses track of assignments, or forgets to plan ahead for big deadlines, an executive function coach can help instill those skills (and relieve you of your school police badge!).

We have long provided executive function coaching and are happy to help with that. But it’s even more important to recognize when your child needs subject tutoring.

Subject tutoring help is for students who are struggling with particular subjects. Even in a “typical” year, some subjects are more challenging than others. For example, math tutoring is always our most requested subject-specific service. This year, however, more kids are falling behind and struggling to keep up. Large virtual classes make it extremely difficult for teachers to provide individualized instruction (and for students to ask for the help they need).

Even a virtual subject tutor can work wonders in helping a child regain their confidence, catch up, and get ahead in challenging subjects this year. That’s because virtual tutors can do more in a one-to-one or one-to-a-few setting than teachers can do with large Zoom classes.

Unlike teachers with big classes, tutors can use interactive digital whiteboards and other tools to provide engaging, interactive, and personalized instruction. Tutors also make it easier for your child to ask for help or get clarification when they need it.

If your child struggles to follow the teacher’s virtual instruction and complete tasks independently, it might be time to seek out a subject tutor. If your attempts to help are met with frustration and resistance, it might be time to seek out a subject tutor. And if the trouble is in math, science, or foreign language, it’s definitely time to seek out a subject tutor! 

Those “cumulative” subjects require skills and knowledge that build year over year. Waiting until school gets back to normal to get help in subjects like these will make the next levels much tougher. So don’t wait—the sooner your child has subject tutoring, the better.

Request a Tutor

Our tutors are trained and ready to provide support to virtual learners who are falling behind. With personalized, engaging, and interactive tutoring sessions, your child can catch up, keep up, and regain confidence—all without your help! 
To get started, just click below and schedule a consult. It’s the simple first step in getting a tutor that can help your child “ride out the storm” this year and ensure smoother sailing in the years to come.

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Do you remember your early parenting days of trying to get your child to take a bottle or use the potty consistently? When your child struggled to master an essential skill, you likely felt helpless, overwhelmed, and anxious. With the sudden switch to virtual learning, many parents find themselves feeling those difficult emotions all over again.

If you feel like your child is just “bad” at virtual learning, you may be worried that there’s nothing you can do to help, that your child will inevitably fall behind, or that nothing will get better until schools reopen for in-person instruction. 

If that’s you, take a deep breath. Remember how your child eventually mastered those skills that seemed so impossible in the infant and toddler years? They can master the skills they need for virtual learning, too, but they’ll need your support.

In this blog, we’re sharing some practical advice to help you inspire confidence in your child, so they can tackle virtual learning and succeed—this year and beyond. 

Step 1: Reframe the Problem

When your child is unmotivated or unfocused with online classes, it’s easy to feel like the problem is that he or she is just “bad” at virtual learning. But saying that in front of your child will only erode their confidence and make things worse. 

The real problem is that large Zoom classes of 25-30 students allow for little to no personalized support. Teachers can no longer glance around the room, see who is struggling, and provide extra help. 

For young students, these huge online classes simply aren’t sufficient. They need personalized attention, interaction, and support to thrive. It’s unrealistic and inappropriate to expect young children to spend 6-7 hours a day on virtual platforms. (Of course, you may not have much say in the matter, so we’ll share tips to help your young student throughout this blog.)

Older students can figure out how to succeed online, but these kids have spent most of their lives learning the skills needed for in-person school. It’s going to take time to learn the skills they need for virtual school, too. Teens don’t like feeling like they’re struggling or failing, so they’ll need extra support as they figure out a new academic approach that works for them.

Reframing the problem takes some of the pressure off of your child (and you) and allows you to find solutions that work. And that starts with setting them up for success.

Step 2: Set Them Up for Success

When kids attend school in person, structures and routines help their brains switch to “learning mode.” At home, families will have to create those structures and routines for themselves. Here are a few things you can do to help your child focus on virtual learning:

✓ Create a study space. When it’s left up to them, teenagers are prone to work on their beds, and this environment does nothing to spark motivation. Instead, create a designated workspace that signals to their brains when it’s time to work. Students don’t necessarily have to spend all their school time at their desks, but a workspace will prove helpful when it’s time for more challenging subjects or projects. 

✓ Let little kids wiggle and doodle. Young children can’t be expected to sit at a disk for hours on end. Instead, provide them with a few comfortable options to rotate among throughout the day, from nontraditional ball seats to makeshift standing disks at the kitchen island. During synchronous learning time, provide a notebook and colored pencils so your child can doodle while they listen. Parents often worry that doodling is a distract, but research shows this can improve their ability to focus and retain the material.

✓ Ditch the phone. Phones are designed to capture and keep our attention. If your child’s phone is right beside them and lighting up with notifications, they’ll never be able to focus. Have them put their phone in another room when it’s time to work.

✓ Keep a printed schedule nearby. Seeing what they’re working on now, next, and later helps students stay focused. Older kids can use whiteboards or an agenda to plan for the day and strike through completed tasks. Young kids love velcro schedule boards and whiteboards. They can use removable stickers or dry erase markers to decorate tasks they’ve completed. For students of all ages, working through a schedule provides a sense of accomplishment to power them through their day.

✓ Allow for brain breaks. Young kids, in particular, need regular breaks to play outdoors and get some exercise. But even for older students, seeing scheduled breaks on the calendar can keep them motivated. Encourage your child to take scheduled breaks for a healthy snack, time to text friends, or to go outside and walk the dog. Giving your brain some downtime allows it to come back refreshed and ready to work once more.

Step 3: Encourage Engagement

If the problem is not that your child is “bad” at virtual learning, but that most virtual learning is de-personalized, the question then becomes: How can we make virtual learning more personalized for kids? How can we get them off the sidelines, so to speak, and into the game? Here are a few things you can do to encourage that critical engagement that will help your child progress this year:

✓ Make time to connect with classmates. Big Zoom classes don’t provide space for the meaningful peer interaction kids crave. If you’re comfortable with it, allow your child to meet in-person for small study groups with 2-3 peers. Even if you want to keep interactions online, encourage your child to set up small online study sessions to go over study guides, review for a test, or discuss notes with friends. Talking about the material with peers helps provide some social connection and increases the likelihood of understanding and remembering the material.

✓ Encourage your child to ask for help. We did an entire blog post on strategies for getting your child to ask for help during virtual learning, so you can click here to read that. The longer a child puts off asking for help, the more intimidating the “ask” can become. But as kids reach out and ask teachers for assistance, whether it’s in class, in a private chat, or over email, they’ll get an encouraging response from their teachers. This creates a positive feedback loop in their brains and encourages them to keep reaching out for help as the year goes on.

✓ Consider getting a tutor for more personalized support and accountability. Even kids who hate virtual learning are thriving with our virtual tutors. Why? Because the real problem isn’t the virtual platform but the lack of personalized attention and support. Our tutors have personal relationships with their students. They provide the personalized, one-on-one attention kids and teens are craving. And they can use all the fun, engaging Zoom features that just won’t work with a big class! 

Plus, virtual tutoring allows our tutors to provide shorter, more frequent sessions. Instead of meeting once a week for 90 minutes, they can meet with your child multiple times a week for 30 or 45 minutes. The tutor becomes an accountability coach and learning partner, helping your child plan ahead, follow through, and build confidence with virtual learning.

If you’d like to learn more about our virtual tutoring support, click here to browse our virtual services or click here to schedule a free, private consultation. We’re here for you!

Remember: your child isn’t “bad” at virtual learning, just like they weren’t “bad” at taking a bottle or potty training. They just have to learn an entirely new skill set (and the large, impersonal Zoom classes don’t make it any easier). Hang in there, provide support where you can, and above all—cheer them on. They need to know you believe in them before they can believe in themselves!

I’m writing this morning on a topic that many of us are facing as we work to transition our children and teens into virtual learning environments during the pandemic. Screen anxiety shows up in children and teens when they resist, avoid, or shut down in the face of demands to participate in asynchronous and especially synchronous instruction during distance learning.

As a family therapist in Washington, D.C. and nearby Bethesda, MD, I have been treating many families with children who crashed and burned when virtual learning was introduced last spring. As a mom, I experienced it first hand at home. We all might have experienced the introduction of distance learning in different ways–some of us had no exposure in the first month of COVID and then were expected to get our kids online for video classes and live calls; others may have had live classes from the start after a week or two of spring break; and others of us might have been offered a hybrid of live classes, video instruction, packet learning, online learning tools, and interactive group projects to complete through the computer or independently. Yet, all of our children were quickly isolated at home, removed from their regular learning environments, distanced from their friends, deprived of social motivation and in-person connected learning from teachers and classmates, and traveling on a somewhat chaotic, uncertain path of learning.

Many children did fairly well with less than ideal learning circumstances. Most children/teens struggled a bit, and some suffered mightily especially school-aged kids. Despite the hard work of dedicated teachers and loving, committed parents, the problems that occurred were vast. I’ve heard countless stories.

My child refused after day #1! ~My son wouldn’t do anything other than online learning games.~ My child cried and screamed whenever asked to be on camera.~My child would always stay on mute.~My daughter learned nothing. ~My kid needed 100% one-on-one support throughout the entire school day, and therefore I couldn’t work at all.

And now, here we are in September and we are being asked to continue virtual schooling indefinitely. Kids are discouraged, parents are tired and teachers are trying. Yet, I think we have all learned some things from last spring. I know that I’ve spent the summer working on the systems that I will use to help my family with distance learning and coping in the midst of COVID. My colleague and friend, Ann Dolin, who is the Executive Director and Founder of Educational Connections, worked tirelessly over the summer to develop specialized tutoring and support programs to help families manage during this crisis (https://ectutoring.com).

And, as a family therapy practice treating hundreds of families weekly, our team has gathered some tips and suggestions from our lessons learned from COVID distance learning last year.

1. This is not a one size fits all method. Please realize that distance learning in this manner and for lengthy periods of time especially for school-aged children is not developmentally appropriate. Under normal circumstances, teaching professionals would not support this model. Teachers are working hard to offer the best version of learning through online experiences, yet it will have some problems.
2. Be kind and flexible with your child and yourself. Every child and family is different. There are no absolutes in what will or what won’t work. Commit to a schedule and plan, and be willing to flex it regularly.
3. Communicate with your teacher about what your specific goals and plans are for your child. Send your child’s teacher an email with the following information–how distance learning went for your child last year, and what your goals are for your child with distance learning this year (i.e stay on camera, participate in live classes more and more, raise their hand on the camera, listen off-screen and on the mic until more comfortable, etc.)
4. Create a good learning space. Have a separate desk for your child. Ideally, set up their own laptop, headphones with a good mic, and a wireless mouse. Work on a cleared desk. Use a whiteboard for the daily schedule. Have a separate folder with printouts. Have a box or drawer of good fidgets.
5. Prepare for siblings learning together. Consider having break-out learning spaces for other siblings so they can work together and apart when needed. Use headsets for kids to minimize distractions. Separate desks at least arm lengths apart if you can. Designate a parent/person for certain blocks of the school day, or hire a childcare provider to help facilitate distance learning while you work.
6. Buy back to school supplies to get prepared/excited. Help your kids get excited by buying some school supplies and setting up their work space. Everyone loves new notebooks and pens! Get something fun like erasable highlighters or a new wireless mouse, fun gel pens, and composition notebooks with cool designs.
7. Try to start the same way daily. For the first couple of weeks, try to develop a routine. Have the same point-person start the day if you can. Try to have a routine and a fun outing daily to do during lunch break/recess (i.e. walk the dog, run a fun errand, etc).
8. Follow the learning schedule flexibly. Write out the schedule daily on a dry erase board. Cross off each class and task when your child completes it. If your child is overwhelmed by how long the day looks, break down the schedule into morning and afternoon and only write out half the day at first. Let your child take body breaks when needed.
9. Start with realistic and customized goals for your child. If s/he is scared of being on-screen with his or her mic on, s/he can participate off-screen and off-mic at first. Just be sure to tell his/her teacher that is your plan and that you are working with your child to increase their comfort. Then gradually add a feature–turn on the mic, or turn on the screen during fun activities, help your child respond in chat, or raise their hand virtually, etc.
10. Ask your teacher not to call out or on your child at first if you are worried that they will become too anxious or meltdown. Advocate for your child’s feelings while still expecting them to grow in becoming more comfortable on screen. Expose them to other less threatening virtual interactions (i.e. zoom calls grandparents regularly, interactive apps or facetime with friends, etc).
11. Create a ladder. Write out with your child their fears or resistance about being in a virtual class. 10 is the scariest and 0 is all ok. Help them think about instances that might make them anxious and write them down and rate them (i.e. Being called on in class. Having my teacher ask me to respond on mic. Getting the answer wrong in the chat. Having everyone see my face on the screen. Having to look at everyone’s faces all at once on-screen.) Try to build a list of coping strategies for each level of concern.
12. Be willing to accommodate and adjust your child’s learning experience. If your child is fearful or averse to looking at everyone fully in the face on-screen, you can have him/her sit to the side and just listen to class at first, doodle, or play with a fidget rather than focus on the screen images. You also can have them minimize the zoom window so they don’t see everyone, or they can hide their image.
13. Expose them gradually, kindly, and steadily to new screen skills. Start at the bottom of their ladder and pick a strategy that they can use that day that helps them get more and more comfortable with working on-screen. Pair that new skill with a relaxing activity or coping skill. For instance, they might take a screen break or “shake it off” after showing up on-screen for 5-10timed minutes. Or they could play with thinking putty while they are off-screen but on-mic and answering questions. We are working towards progress, not perfection!
14. Recognize that they are learning a multitude of skills at once which could cause information and emotional overload. Most school-aged kids don’t have typing skills. Some may not have any computer skills. So trying to learn math, while using OneNote, and typing their answers while also talking and listening and watching on-screen may just be too much, right!?! Have paper and pencils ready to replace OneNote if needed and type their answers for them. Consider practicing a typing program as it makes sense.
15. Emphasize, empathize, empathize–And Still Return Certain Standards. When your child complains, share in those feelings…”This IS awful!” Match their emotion and intensity and then return to a calm voice if you can. Don’t forget to return to certain goals and standards (even if just silently to yourself in that moment) and consistently ask them to participate. If we give up, we teach our kids that they can’t do hard things and that we can’t help them overcome difficult tasks. Don’t pressure, yet do be kind and firm.

Look: what we are doing as parents is really really challenging—working, teaching, coping with chronic stress, and uncertainty. It actually can feel impossible and insurmountable in the moment. Yet, we can do hard things for the sake of our kids. We just have to keep them in mind as we flex and work. Don’t forget to start by acknowledging and appreciating yourself each morning. You make your home run, and get to bring joy or angst into the day. Try to acknowledge the worry that you wake up with, honor it, and then calm yourself for a minute. Then, if you can, try to consciously choose how you want to feel with your child that day. Try to imagine the relationship that you want to create (even when it isn’t playing out that way at that exact moment) when faced with too much adversity in your school day. If your child is resisting or avoiding, take a minute to reconnect with them through a 5-minute break that is light and easy and then start again. And, if you find you need additional help, give yourself that help.

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