Many students know they need help in school, but hesitate when it comes time to raise their hand or stay after class to talk to the teacher. Often, this hesitation comes from a fear of standing out or looking “dumb” in front of classmates. Many worry about what their peers think and even fear their teacher may judge them as incapable. These insecurities often keep students silent, even when they’re struggling, and can cause them to fall further behind.
Learning to self-advocate is a skill that makes asking for help much less intimidating, and it’s one of the core skills our executive function coaches teach at Educational Connections.
Watch our Executive Function Coach Rachael explain two strategies to help kids ask for help
Conversation starters that break the ice
One of the reasons students don’t ask for help is that they’re unsure exactly how to start the conversation. “So many times, the issue is kids literally don’t know what to say first,” explains our Executive Function Coach Rachael Moss, MS, M.Ed.
In our virtual sessions, coaches give students easy conversation starters—simple phrases and questions they can use when they need help in class. These tools give students the language they need to self-advocate and the confidence to speak up.
Here are some of the conversation prompts our coaches use to help students get started:
- Starter Sentences:
- “I’m having a hard time with…”
- “I might need some study help…”
- “I want you to know I do better when…”
- Prompting Questions:
- “Do you remember when we learned…?”
- “I need help understanding…”
- “When is the best time we could meet to…?”
Simple phrases like these might seem easy to us as adults, but they don’t always come naturally to kids. Practicing with a coach or trusted adult can make a big difference, especially for students who feel anxious or unsure about speaking up in class.
Reaching out in writing: A simple email template to ask for help
For older students who find speaking up in person challenging, writing an email to their teacher can be an effective alternative. Our coaches help students craft short, professional-sounding emails that communicate their needs in just a few sentences.
We offer our students an email template where they can fill in the blanks to ask for help. “It’s like the most effective Mad Libs ever,” she explains.
Learning how to properly write a simple email helps students feel in control of their communication and allows them to think carefully about how to express their needs.
Students find they’ll usually get a written response from their teacher with suggestions or a time to meet, which can make follow-up and planning easier. And if the response feels intimidating, our coaches help guide students in processing and responding professionally.
Practicing this skill builds confidence in self-advocating, even when in-person conversations might feel overwhelming.
Download a free email template for your child HERE.
We’ll help your child build essential life skills
Helping your child ask for help and advocate for themselves is just one of the ways our executive function coaching program supports their success. Our EF coaches also help students master essential skills like time management, organization, effective study strategies, and more.
Schedule a free call with us today to learn how our one-on-one virtual program can help your child gain these skills and build confidence!