When students feel overwhelmed by school demands, it can impact not only their grades but also their confidence, motivation, and overall well-being. That’s why we partner with mental health experts to bring parents insights that address the whole child, not just the homework pile.
To unpack this crucial issue, we spoke with Dr. Michelle Cole, a Psychotherapist and the Founder and Clinical Supervisor of Moving Forward, PLC, in Alexandria, VA, about how to identify signs of academic stress, when to seek help, and practical ways parents can support their kids at home.
The Hidden Signs of Academic Stress Every Parent Should Watch For
“As we move into the school year, there are lots of transitions,” Dr. Cole explained. “We’re looking at different factors: headaches, stomach aches, refusal to go [to school], anxiety, sadness, difficulty concentrating, lack of sleep, or inability to sleep. These are common signs that your child is feeling overwhelmed by school or extracurricular activities.”
When these symptoms appear, especially if they occur suddenly or cluster together, parents should pay close attention to them. A recurring stomachache before school may not just be a passing complaint; it could be your child’s way of communicating distress.
Why Kids Feel So Much Pressure, And Where It Really Comes From
When kids struggle, it’s natural for parents to wonder: Is this pressure coming from us, friends, or teachers? Or is it all internal?
The truth is often somewhere in between. “I would say that it’s often both, not one,” Dr. Cole said. In other words, some children put immense pressure on themselves, while others feel it from outside influences, and many experience a mix of both.
“Some kiddos are just born with more perfectionistic tendencies,” she explained. “They have more negative self-talk that drives them to perfection. Sometimes, it can be the factors related to what’s happening at home with parents. It could also be influenced by social factors, such as social media and peer pressure, as well as feelings of competitiveness with peers. Sometimes it’s all an internal drive. But regardless, whether it’s real or perceived, it’s how they feel.”
When Normal Stress Turns Into a Bigger Problem
Every student feels pressure at times, but how do you know when it crosses the line into a mental health concern?
Dr. Cole recommends considering both duration and the impact on daily life. “Normal is more temporary and manageable,” she explained. “More severe is more chronic, and we see it lasting for at least two weeks.”
Parents should take note if their child begins to refuse school, withdraw from activities they once enjoyed, or exhibit consistent changes in sleep and mood. As Dr. Cole put it: “We have to start to think about what their norm is, and when we’re seeing changes, we need to reach out for help.”
Simple Family Routines That Help Reduce Stress at Home
Beyond seeking professional help, families can take steps at home to reduce stress and create a sense of balance.
“One of the things that I like to talk about is weekly family meetings,” Dr. Cole shared. “I find that Sundays are usually the best day to do that. It doesn’t have to be a long meeting, maybe just 20 minutes, where we all come together with our digital calendar and our paper calendar and we talk about what the week is going to look like and we all sync up.”
She encourages parents to use a simple color-coded calendar on the refrigerator where kids can see their weekly schedule at a glance. “It helps decrease anxiety and manage stress about transitions and activities overall,” she said.
Dr. Cole also encourages scheduling downtime. “We’re always looking for balance as adults. And for our kiddos, we’re going to teach them how to learn balance. That is making time to relax, have a family Friday movie night, or just a time in the house where all electronics are turned off and we’re together as a family,” she explained.
How Academic Support Builds Confidence and Lowers Anxiety
Pairing therapy with academic support can be a powerful combination for students with anxiety, and that’s why Dr. Cole regularly refers her families to Educational Connections for academic support.
“When they’re working with us and doing executive function coaching or subject tutoring, that really helps to boost confidence academically through skill building. It fosters a sense of control, especially for kiddos who are having a lot of anxiety around school. We know that when they feel a sense of control, that decreases anxiety and builds confidence.”
How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health and Academics
“If the behaviors last for two weeks or more, reach out,” she urged. “It’s best to talk about what’s happening and see if we can get some tools in place right away before it becomes a crisis.”
- For mental health concerns: Moving Forward, PLC offers free 15-minute consultations with Dr. Cole’s team. They’ll talk through what’s going on and help you decide if therapy is the right next step.
- For academic or executive function struggles, contact us at Educational Connections to schedule a complimentary call with one of our Education Specialists. Whether your child needs subject tutoring or executive function coaching, we’ll create a personalized plan to build skills, reduce stress, and restore confidence.