“I just don’t know what to do. He’s a bright boy, but he is failing because he can’t remember to turn in his assignment.” This is a story I’ve heard time and time again. On a daily basis, I talk to parents who are in complete turmoil over what to do with their child. The child in question has the potential to be a great student; however, poor executive functioning skills limit him or her from reaching academic success.
Organizational Coaching in Northern Virginia, Maryland, and Washington DC
To help parents across the DC Metro area solve this problem, Ann Dolin created Educational Coaching, a tutoring program that targets students’ executive functioning and organizational skills. These are the skills that aren’t typically taught in a classroom environment but that are essential for students to have in order to succeed (time management, study skills, planning ahead, breaking down large assignments, turning things in on time, etc.).
In the past 15 years, Educational Connections has had thousands of students work with our trained Educational Coaches. These coaches help students strengthen their executive functioning skills by teaching them to implement strategies and techniques that work for them individually. Students typically meet with their coach for an hour each week; however, some meet more frequently depending on the individual student’s needs.
But meeting with an Educational Coach on a regular basis is really the first step to perfecting these skills. There are 168 hours in a week and an Educational Coach is typically working with a student for one to two of them. This means that there are a lot of things that parents can be doing at home in between sessions to help their students become the best students they can be.
Understand What Works for You May Not Work for Your Student
One of the biggest mistakes parents frequently make is comparing their child to themselves. When your child’s organizational system consists of shoving everything in the bottom of his backpack and hoping for the best, it is easy to view your method as the superior option. However, it is essential that parents understand that their children are very different people than they are and that what works for them now or when they were in school may not be the ideal system for their child.
For example, I was talking to a mom from Fairfax a few weeks ago named Jenny. Jenny was complaining because her son, Ben, wouldn’t write any of his assignments down. As I spoke to Jenny, she consistently paused to take notes and I realized that Jenny is a person who works best from writing everything down. She told me how she had bought Ben agenda after agenda and would ground him if he didn’t use it. But regardless of the punishment, Ben was resistant and the agenda just wasn’t working. When our Educational Coach, Lindsay, began working with Ben, she realized that Ben isn’t a student who responds well to writing everything down; however, he was almost always on his phone. As a result, Lindsay recommended that Ben use the iPhone App “MyHomework” to type in his homework assignments regularly. Ben responded well to the idea. He was frequently on his phone already so it was easy for him to just type it in.
When I followed up with Jenny after the first few sessions, she discussed this system with me. She explained that it would never work for her (she said she lost every email in her inbox). But that Ben was really responding to this system. Since he had begun using MyHomework the number of assignments he missed or forgot to turn in had dropped dramatically.
Hold Your Student Accountable
Originally, Jenny was punishing Ben for not doing things her way, grounding him if he did not write things in his assignment notebook. On the flip side was Roxanne, a mom in McLean, whose ninth grade daughter Amelia was still doing poorly in school despite working with an Educational Coach, Julie, for three weeks. Roxanne couldn’t figure out why this was the case. She loved Julie and she could tell that the strategies that she was teaching Amelia were really useful. She began to panic thinking that Amelia would never become an organized student or succeed academically. To Julie, however, the problem was apparent. Amelia was not using the strategies and things discussed during the session throughout the week. It was as though Julie was teaching Amelia to play piano but she would never sit down to play except at lessons.
In the first three weeks of sessions, Julie kept finding Amelia’s backpack a mess; assignments not turned in on blackboard, no notes in an assignment book, and her life in general in chaos. Both Julie and Roxanne knew this wasn’t going to work unless things changed. As a group, Roxanne, Julie, and Amelia sat down to go over expectations. Once they came up with a plan, Roxanne was able to create a rewards and consequences system for Amelia. If she cleaned out her backpack on Sundays as she was supposed to do, she would get an extra 30 minutes of video game time the next day. If she wrote in her agenda daily, she could stay up 15 minutes later. If she failed to do these things, there would be consequences such as no video games for the day, or having to do extra chores.
The rewards and consequence program worked for Amelia. However, be aware that using rewards often does not work for students, especially if the reward or consequence is not in immediate response to their action or behavior. (For more on this topic, see Nick’s post on Student Motivation: Why Carrots and Sticks Won’t Cut It.) Once Amelia was held responsible, she began to practice the skills that Julie was teaching her during their session. Immediately, her grades began to rise and her teachers began to notice the difference. Amelia quickly earned a place on the honor roll and with the help of Julie, found a system that worked for her.
Understand That Practice Makes Perfect
One of the most detrimental things a parent can do in an Educational Coaching program is ending sessions prematurely when they don’t see immediate results. It’d be like deciding to end guitar lessons after two meetings when your student can’t play like Jimi Hendrix. Just like learning a new language, a sport, or a musical instrument, learning to organize oneself is a skill that takes time and practice to perfect.
Even as adults, none of us are completely organized all the time. I consider myself a highly organized person: my DVDs and books are in alphabetical order, my closet and calendar is color coded, and so on, but last week I forgot my wallet at home. The reality is that this is still going to happen time from time with your student (maybe not with their wallet, but with their homework or agenda). What is important is that the student is able to learn from mistakes and tweak his or her system to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Organize as a Family
People are almost always products of their environment. This means that if a student is in a completely hectic and unorganized home, it is likely that that chaos will interfere with the student’s academics. If you are having your student work with an Educational Coach to improve his or her organizational skills, it’s essential that you lead by example. Try having a family calendar either on the fridge with a white board or electronic (try using a shared calendar in Google). That way everyone’s information is in one place.
Ultimately, all of our Educational Coaches are professionals who come to us with a wealth of knowledge and then receive additional training to work with students on these executive functioning skills. They are able to work with students to find strategies that will work for them and allow for academic success in the present and future. However, to yield the greatest results, the student needs an entire support team including their parents and family, the coach, and the teachers. By implementing these four tips, you can help your child reach his or her ultimate potential.